When Sgt. Jennifer Shockley heads out on patrol each day, she's got the police blotter on her mind. Her goal is to paint a detailed picture of the town's often ridiculous crimes.

"I can only imagine that someone who's never been here would think that this is some kind of Twilight Zone town where every form of human oddity and absurdity exists all at once — exacerbated by alcohol," she says.

Twilight Zone is an understatement.

Since Shockley first started compiling the Unalaska crime report six years ago, she's written about vampire attacks, herds of feral horses chasing down cyclists, and "ravenous prowlers" who steal boxes of handkerchiefs — only to be discovered by the trail of blood and pizza they left behind.