The IBM Watson Personality Insights service claims it can tell you exactly who you are based on a writing sample of at least 100 words — which naturally means I had to give it a test run.
Because, I mean … really, Watson? You're pretty amazing and all — but do you really think you can explain the inner workings of my psyche to me? We don't even know each other, so you'll excuse me if I think that's a bit presumptuous of you.
According to IBM itself, the IBM Watson Personality Insights service "uses linguistic analytics to infer cognitive and social characteristics, including Big Five, Values, and Needs, from communications that the user makes available, such as email, text messages, tweets, forum posts and more."
Why would we need a computer to analyze our writing? Seemingly in order to help us "understand, connect to, and communicate with other people on a more personalized level."