I was there for a different reason.

"I need to beat a drug test tomorrow," I said to the girl behind the counter.

"For work?" she answered.

"Yeah."

"That's weird."

"Totally."

Weed blogs had already led me to my weapon of choice: a neon orange cocktail made up of vitamins (E, B6, and B12), niacin, riboflavin, folic acid, pantothenic acid, and a whole bunch of sugar. It promised clean-testing pee for up to six hours after ingestion, with a 300 percent money back guarantee. Just 108 calories per bottle, all for $29.95. I also picked up a bottle of activated charcoal pills, which one blog pitched as a great way to absorb all the weed "toxins" in my body.

Sure.