OK, this one is for all the professional "sensitivity editors" out there, and for the US Department of Homeland Security, and President Donald Trump, and the European Union censors, and all the other self-appointed Speech Police that have been goose-stepping around dictating what everyone can and can't say and publish and think all the time like a bunch of sanctimonious little fascists.

If you're easily offended, you'll probably want to skip this one.

This isn't the column I was planning to write. I was going to write an insufferably pompous and crushingly boring column about "the state of the publishing industry" and "contemporary literature," and all that crap, but then a number of recent events intervened and forced me to change my plan.