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News Link • Death

The gun didn't fire!

•, by mingeem
My heart skips a few beats as I try to gain my wits. Am I dead? Is this the afterlife? Gradually, I begin to realize the gun did not fire even though the hammer slammed forward. I franticly eject the round from the chamber, place the gun back into its box, and return it to the closet.
This haunting scene occurred on the afternoon of February 3rd. I was at rock bottom. I have been suffering from debilitating anxiety and depression since leaving the military over three years ago. For most of this time I would self-medicate the pain with alcohol. It seemed to efficiently numb my angst until I was busted for DWI last June. Sitting in jail for 48 hours resulted in a successful detox. Upon seeing the judge, I pled guilty and received probation. This meant no more drinking, no more self-medicating.
For the next six months I did what was required of me. I went to numerous substance abuse classes and group meetings. I paid my fine in full. I even had an ignition interlock installed in my truck. However, the sobriety came with unrestrained PTSD symptoms.

1 Comments in Response to

Comment by Ed Price
Entered on:

From the article: "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, WRONG! Suicide is a TEMPORARY solution. And it will only last for an instant.

The next thing you will see, after your successful suicide, is Jesus calling you out of the grave, or reassembling your component atoms from all the corners of the globe - or the universe - to which you might have been blown. Then you will have to answer for MURDER. And it will be the murder of yourself.

The judgement done by God, that follows, will be what is permanent.

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