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SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
Do Ilhan Omar's Crimes Warrant Punishment? This is a question Department of Homeland Security Secretary Markwayne Mullin is mulling. "I mean, marrying your brother so he could gain entry into the US as a spouse is fraud. Since she was married to a
In the wake of Lindsay Clancy's murder case ending in a mistrial, several jurors have publicly accused the lone holdout juror of being stubbornly hung up on the technicality that the defendant had, in fact, committed the crimes she was accused of.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
Majority of Dems Favor Socialism A new CBS News/YouGov poll found that 58% of Democrats have a positive view of socialism and only 32% have a favorable view of capitalism. When Republicans and independents are added in 35% of all voters have a fav
After seventeen hours of deliberations over the span of three days, a jury was still struggling to decide whether murder is wrong.
Former Fox News host turned podcaster Tucker Carlson released a groundbreaking 380th consecutive episode criticizing the one country that Carlson says no one is allowed to criticize.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
Governor Restricts Welfare to Necessities Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-Fla) announced that the state's use of federal Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) program will be modified, saying "taxpayer-funded assistance should help families put food
Though the U.S. national debt officially surpassed $40 trillion this week, Congress was quick to assure Americans that the issue could be easily fixed by spending more money.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
Stop Nick Shirley Act Becomes Law California State Assemblymember Mia Bonta (D-Oakland) hailed the passage of Assembly Bill 2624 and predicted "it will end the reign of terror being inflicted on our state by rogue reporter Nick Shirley. This inexp
U.S. -- The United States of America plunged into collective sorrow and mourning yesterday upon learning the devastating news that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle would be moving back to England.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
States Sue Feds on Commercial Driver Licensing Twenty-one states governed by Democrats have sued the federal government, calling its efforts to efforts to keep dangerous drivers off the nation's highway "an invasion of privacy." Illinois Attorney
"Trans Women" Enter WNBA Draft (LOL)
...as pranksters list rubber chickens and chicken nuggets as 'pets'. People who keep chickens in their garden now face prison and large fines if they fail to register them all under strict new rules brought in to tackle bird flu.
In a disgusting act of appalling bigotry, the WNBA is refusing to allow a stunning, beautiful woman into the league on the grounds that she is actually a biological male.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
Islamist Wins Dem Nomination for Senator Abdul El-Sayed narrowly won the Democratic primary election for one of Michigan's US Senate seats. Self-identified Marxist Hasan Piker denounced the 51% of Democrats who did not vote for El-Sayed, calling t
President Donald Trump scheduled an emergency trip to Ukraine to ask President Zelenskyy for American missiles.
Due To Depleted Missile Supply, 'Operation Epic Fury' Downgraded To 'Operation Mildly Aggressive Fury'
Following the controversial candidate's primary win in last night's Michigan Senate primary, joyous Democrats celebrated Abdul Al-Sayed's victory by firing AK-47s into the air.
U.S. -- Democratic leaders expressed deep concern about the growing scourge of gun violence against active shooters.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
Fauci Establishes New 5th Amendment Record This week, the previously pardoned Dr. Anthony Fauci appeared before the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee and invoked the Constitution's Fifth Amendment against self-incriminati
Leave flock cameras alone
Former Chief Medical Advisor Dr. Anthony Fauci admitted to those close to him that he was starting to think that perhaps keeping a detailed daily "Perjury Diary" was a bad idea.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
California & Minnesota Medicaid Funds Blocked Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. halted the distribution of $1 billion to California and Minnesota, saying "Gov. Gavin Newsom (D-Calif) and Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz (D-Minn) h
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
Rubio Deports Child Rapist In 2006, Tue Lue Vang was convicted for repeatedly raping a 10-year-old girl over a two-year period. The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) was set to deport him to Laos when Gov. Tim Walz (D-Minn) decided to pardon h
With several areas across the globe battling record high temperatures, Americans have graciously offered to help by turning their air conditioning down to 65 degrees and opening the windows.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
Anyone Born in US Is a Citizen This week, a 6-3 majority of the US Supreme Court struck down President Trump's executive order attempting to restrict citizenship to persons legally residing in the country and a 5-4 majority ruled that the Constitu
Washington Democrats were getting out the vote early ahead of the November midterms, pledging to reform U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) so it only deports immigrants who love America.
People around the world celebrated the establishment of a new supreme leader, as President Donald Trump was confirmed to now rule the entire world after the United States Supreme Court declared everyone on Earth to be American.
