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Humor
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: August 2, 2026 Edition
John SemmensFauci Establishes New 5th Amendment Record This week, the previously pardoned Dr. Anthony Fauci appeared before the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee and invoked the Constitution's Fifth Amendment against self-incriminati
Here's how to cut aluminum pipe...
Donna HancockLeave flock cameras alone
Fauci Starting To Think That Maybe Keeping A Daily Perjury Diary Was A Bad Idea
• https://babylonbee.com, BabylonBee.comFormer Chief Medical Advisor Dr. Anthony Fauci admitted to those close to him that he was starting to think that perhaps keeping a detailed daily "Perjury Diary" was a bad idea.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 26, 2026 Edition
John SemmensCalifornia & Minnesota Medicaid Funds Blocked Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. halted the distribution of $1 billion to California and Minnesota, saying "Gov. Gavin Newsom (D-Calif) and Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz (D-Minn) h
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 12, 2026 Edition
John SemmensRubio Deports Child Rapist In 2006, Tue Lue Vang was convicted for repeatedly raping a 10-year-old girl over a two-year period. The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) was set to deport him to Laos when Gov. Tim Walz (D-Minn) decided to pardon h
Bibi's favorite toy...
Donna Hancock
America Offers To Help Cool Off Planet By Opening Windows And Lowering AC To 65
• https://babylonbee.com, BabylonBee.comWith several areas across the globe battling record high temperatures, Americans have graciously offered to help by turning their air conditioning down to 65 degrees and opening the windows.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: July 5, 2026 Edition
John SemmensAnyone Born in US Is a Citizen This week, a 6-3 majority of the US Supreme Court struck down President Trump's executive order attempting to restrict citizenship to persons legally residing in the country and a 5-4 majority ruled that the Constitu
Democrats Vow To Reform ICE So It Only Deports Immigrants Who Love America
• https://babylonbee.com, BabylonBee.comWashington Democrats were getting out the vote early ahead of the November midterms, pledging to reform U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) so it only deports immigrants who love America.
Winning! Trump Now Rules Entire World As Supreme Court Declares Everyone Is American
• https://babylonbee.com, BabylonBee.comPeople around the world celebrated the establishment of a new supreme leader, as President Donald Trump was confirmed to now rule the entire world after the United States Supreme Court declared everyone on Earth to be American.
SCOTUS Rules Invading Xenomorphs Who Hatch On Earth Are Officially Citizens Of Earth
• https://babylonbee.com, BabylonBee.comIn yet another surprising decision that divided public opinion, the United States Supreme Court ruled that invading Xenomorphs who hatch on Earth are officially citizens of Earth.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 28, 2026 Edition
John SemmensDems Object to End of Temporary Protected Status This week in Mullin v. Doe, a 6-3 majority of the US Supreme Court ruled that the temporary protected status granted to immigrants from Haiti in 2010 could be discontinued by the Trump Administratio
Cubans Living In NYC Begin Boarding Rafts To Escape Communism Again
• https://babylonbee.com, BabylonBee.comCuban Americans across the city reportedly took to the sea, eager to once again escape the terrors of communism in homemade rafts that some believed may not even be capable of making the trip.
Al-Qaeda Wins New York Primary
• https://babylonbee.com, BabylonBee.comAlmost 25 years after it successfully flew two jetliners into the Twin Towers, killing thousands of people, Al-Qaeda clinched Tuesday's New York City primary election in an explosive landslide victory.
'Now Witness The Firepower Of This Fully Armed And Operational Battle Station,' Cackles Obam
• https://babylonbee.com, BabylonBee.comSeated upon his spinning throne chair, a cackling former President Barack Obama invited guests to witness the firepower of his now fully-armed and operational battle station.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 21, 2026 Edition
John SemmensFauci Funded Creation of COVID This week, Director of National Intelligence (DNI) Tulsi Gabbard released "evidence showing how Dr. Anthony Fauci, as head of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, provided millions in US taxpaye
World Cup Guests Are Telling the World that the USA Is Awesome
• Gateway Pundit
Look! A Key!
• Eric Peters AutosRemember keys? Those things you inserted into the ignition switch and turned to start the engine? You have probably forgotten, too. Ignition keys are something like ashtrays and floor-mounted dimmer switches.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 14, 2026 Edition
John SemmensCrockett Assails Murder Verdict Rep. Jasmine Crockett (D-Texas) weighed in on the murder conviction of Karmelo Anthony for stabbing Austin Metcalf to death at a high school track meet in April 2025, calling it "just another episode in the 400-year
California Reminds Voters There Are Just 30 Days Left To Vote In Last Tuesday's Election
• https://babylonbee.com, BabylonBee.comCalifornia election officials reminded voters over the weekend that there are just 30 days left to mail in their vote for the Los Angeles mayoral election that happened last Tuesday.
After Mail-In Ballots Tallied, Joe Biden Wins L.A. Mayor Race With 81 Million Votes
• https://babylonbee.com, BabylonBee.comAfter multiple days of late-night mail-in ballot drops finally being tallied, it was discovered that Joe Biden had won the Los Angeles mayoral race with an astonishing 81 million votes.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: June 7, 2026 Edition
John SemmensLeftist Calls for a Purge This week, Former New York Times reporter Paul Krugman said "we really need to do a thorough purging of the United States. We need a de-MAGAfication similar to the de-Nazification that we pursued successfully after World
Happy killdozer day
• REDDITOut of control bulldozer
California Announces They Have Finished Counting The Votes,...
• Babylon BeeRonald Reagan Has Won The 1966 Governor's Race
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 31, 2026 Edition
John SemmensCalifornia Dems Take Action to Impede Reporting Crime This week, the California Assembly passed the "Stop Nick Shirley Act," (Assembly Bill 2624). The legislation was written and sponsored by Assemblywoman Mia Bonta (D-district 18) "to counter the
California Passes Law Making It A Crime To Report A Crime
• https://babylonbee.com, BabylonBee.comIn a decisive move toward preventing any citizen journalists from uncovering massive fraud and corruption in the state moving forward, California officially passed a law making it a crime to report a crime.
Democrats Hopeful Average Texas Voter Wants To Ban Steak And Thinks God Is Gay
• https://babylonbee.com, BabylonBee.comWith the field now set for the Texas Senate race, Democrats are hopeful that the average Texan voter wants to ban steak and believes God is gay.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: May 24, 2026 Edition
John SemmensDemocrat Wants Zionist Internment Camps Maureen Galindo, a Democrat running for Congress in Texas Congressional District-35, wants "to save America from the devious schemes of Zionist Jews by incarcerating them in internment camps. I'm not against
When the people start waking up!
• Tik TokJoplin Police Department: one of our speed trailers was stolen overnight. Reply: It was seized under civil asset forfeiture. The (non) investigative unit determined it has been used for aiding in a racketeering scheme. If you can provide otherwise, i
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