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In yet another surprising decision that divided public opinion, the United States Supreme Court ruled that invading Xenomorphs who hatch on Earth are officially citizens of Earth.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
Dems Object to End of Temporary Protected Status This week in Mullin v. Doe, a 6-3 majority of the US Supreme Court ruled that the temporary protected status granted to immigrants from Haiti in 2010 could be discontinued by the Trump Administratio
Cuban Americans across the city reportedly took to the sea, eager to once again escape the terrors of communism in homemade rafts that some believed may not even be capable of making the trip.
Almost 25 years after it successfully flew two jetliners into the Twin Towers, killing thousands of people, Al-Qaeda clinched Tuesday's New York City primary election in an explosive landslide victory.
Seated upon his spinning throne chair, a cackling former President Barack Obama invited guests to witness the firepower of his now fully-armed and operational battle station.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
Fauci Funded Creation of COVID This week, Director of National Intelligence (DNI) Tulsi Gabbard released "evidence showing how Dr. Anthony Fauci, as head of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, provided millions in US taxpaye
Remember keys? Those things you inserted into the ignition switch and turned to start the engine? You have probably forgotten, too. Ignition keys are something like ashtrays and floor-mounted dimmer switches.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
Crockett Assails Murder Verdict Rep. Jasmine Crockett (D-Texas) weighed in on the murder conviction of Karmelo Anthony for stabbing Austin Metcalf to death at a high school track meet in April 2025, calling it "just another episode in the 400-year
California election officials reminded voters over the weekend that there are just 30 days left to mail in their vote for the Los Angeles mayoral election that happened last Tuesday.
After multiple days of late-night mail-in ballot drops finally being tallied, it was discovered that Joe Biden had won the Los Angeles mayoral race with an astonishing 81 million votes.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
Leftist Calls for a Purge This week, Former New York Times reporter Paul Krugman said "we really need to do a thorough purging of the United States. We need a de-MAGAfication similar to the de-Nazification that we pursued successfully after World
Out of control bulldozer
Ronald Reagan Has Won The 1966 Governor's Race
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
California Dems Take Action to Impede Reporting Crime This week, the California Assembly passed the "Stop Nick Shirley Act," (Assembly Bill 2624). The legislation was written and sponsored by Assemblywoman Mia Bonta (D-district 18) "to counter the
In a decisive move toward preventing any citizen journalists from uncovering massive fraud and corruption in the state moving forward, California officially passed a law making it a crime to report a crime.
With the field now set for the Texas Senate race, Democrats are hopeful that the average Texan voter wants to ban steak and believes God is gay.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
Democrat Wants Zionist Internment Camps Maureen Galindo, a Democrat running for Congress in Texas Congressional District-35, wants "to save America from the devious schemes of Zionist Jews by incarcerating them in internment camps. I'm not against
Joplin Police Department: one of our speed trailers was stolen overnight. Reply: It was seized under civil asset forfeiture. The (non) investigative unit determined it has been used for aiding in a racketeering scheme. If you can provide otherwise, i
Comedian replacing Stephen Colbert appears to take a swipe at his predecessor as he vows to avoid politics and 'just be funny'
The Associated Press has warned that despite their deadly nature, medieval trebuchets are mostly exempt from firearm regulations in the United States.
Rumors swirled throughout the international intelligence community this week after reports surfaced that agents from the Central Intelligence Agency had carried out a surprise raid of the Central Intelligence Agency.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
Are the Attempts to Kill Trump Real? This week, a National Public Radio (NPR) headline asserted "new poll finds a majority of Americans unsure if attempts on Trump's life were real." The article went on to disclose that "30% of Americans think at
There is a new virus outbreak on a cruise ship and it'll hopefully result in a worldwide panic with lockdowns, kind of like covid except more severe if we're lucky. We also cover the recent Alien and UFO disclosure released by the government. Wha
Hantavirus has quickly become the biggest viral threat to humanity since COVID and as luck would have it, Dr. Fauci has announced that he has been working on a hantavirus vaccine this entire time. How convenient!
Observe the head writer for the political theatre that all Americans tune into everyday. Understand the creative process and goals of the political theatre writers as they produce the show put on by American politics everyday.
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News
Judge Rules Scholars Entitled to Subsidies This week, US District Judge Colleen McMahon ruled that federal grants to scholars doing research on Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI) cannot be canceled, saying "the academic community is unanimous i
We cover a special message in a very Erika Kirk style. From there the top stories include the Israel media company The Daily Wire in a downfall, Charlie Kirk's head of security is suing Candace Owens, Jews burning the Israeli flag, and a war update
Now that the TSA is fully funded thanks to the end of the partial government shutdown, sources confirmed that air travel was already back to being awful for its usual reasons.
